It's been 2 weeks since 'The Breakdown'.

So it's been two weeks since my epic breakdown, and the beginning of me starting to get help. I've been taking Fluoxetine for 13 days now, and the side effects are starting to show. Fortunately they're nothing I can't handle. The loss of appetite is pretty good for my waistline and fit of my jeans. The lack of sleep is nothing I can't handle, I'm not a good sleeper anyway. The main annoyance is the nausea. I've felt horrendously sick for two weeks now, and there doesn't appear to be any let up in it. My muscles and joints are quite sore, and I've not been taking my painkillers because I forgot to ask if they can mix with the Fluoxetine. On top of these side effects I picked up a cold from my niece, which hasn't helped my morale that much. 

But I make it through most days without feeling the need to cry (round of applause) which is a huge improvement. I'm eating again, I still can't eat the portions I could a few weeks ago, but that's probably a good thing. I still haven't turned my phone on, it's been sat in a drawer in my mums room for the entire time. I'm planning on turning that back on sometime this week. I still dream about people and things that I don't want to, meaning that I often wake up in the morning having forgotten what's happening to me. Mornings still aren't my favourite time of day. I still don't want to be left alone in my house at all. I've been staying at my sisters house a lot to avoid that. I've been forcing myself to leave the house once a day at least, even just for 5 minutes. That's been one of the best things I've been doing. 

I've got my appointment for my counselling assessment in a few weeks, I'm looking forward to getting started. On Tuesday I go back for to see my doctor and get my next Fluoxetine prescription. Would I be where I am right now without the antidepressants? I don't think so.